LFE Chronicles- The Wrath of MH-Razen

[oliveryungo]

FINISHED!!
A not-so-short story featuring all the mods and admins.
Comments are much appreciated.

Prologue (Click to View)

A new era has begun. An era when bots have been hunted to extinction and new software denies them access to the forums. Only the occasional lucky one manages to slip past LFE’s security measures, but after one post, is promptly vaporized by a passing Moderator. A new era that means certain boredom for Moderators, who, due to the lack of bots that need crushing by BanHammers, now sit bored out of their minds in the Moderator HQ, instead of using their epic Moderator powers to burn everything within a five-mile radius. That is, until a stupid user makes a stupid post (obviously. If they made smart posts then they wouldn’t be stupid). When that happens, Moderators immediately swarm to the thread in hopes of being able to the first to make a snide comment and disposal the post. This is the status of LFE as we know it. And it seems doomed to remain that way. What happened during that time is now recorded here, a mark in LFE history. This is 100% true, except for the parts that are made up.

Part 1-The beginning (Click to View)

Simoneon- a Global Moderator, renowned for his lethal BanHammer and his cruelty to bots. He has been widely praised for his epic burnings of bots everywhere. He is also slouching in his luxurious chair in the Moderator HQ, bored out of his mind. New security measures meant bots were an endangered species, and in spite of the fact that the forums would have less spam, it meant that the majority of Moderators would be snoozing in the HQ with nothing exciting to do.
A beeping filled the air. Simoneon sat up straight. That sound could only mean one thing- a bot on the loose! Time for some Moderator action, he thought, teleporting to the bot’s location.
However, when he got there, an unwelcome, but not unexpected, sight greeted him.
The Duckpire Lord Alectric was already there.
“I’m the type of person that spends time, reading pocketbooks especially novels. I’m a bit weird for I loved exotic foods and is already ready for any fun games. To shorten things up, I’m an adventurous type of human being” the bot droned.
“Not any more, bot” Alectric replied. His trademark weapon was already in his hand- feared by all members of the Eggpire, the terrible Duckscalibur!
He raised Duckscalibur and a rainbow beam blasted out from the tip of the blade. The ray hit the bot squarely in the chest and a remarkable series of brightly colored fireworks spat out of the bot’s body. It collapsed and dissolved into nothing.
Curses! I wasn’t fast enough, thought Simoneon. But still, that was pretty impressive.
“Nice speech, broother of botskillerumhood!” he congratulated.
Alectric turned around.
“Oh, hi, Simon. I guessed you’d turn up here sooner or later. But you were too late this time! Haha!
“Ha! You ban one bot, I ban 10!”
“Reality: I ban one bot and there are no more bots left.”
“True….”
The sky darkened, and in a flash of indigo light, the figure of MH-Razen thudded down beside the two Moderators.
Simoneon sighed. “Must you make such a flashy entrance?”
“If I didn’t, then who would take me seriously?” the Administrator replied.
Simoneon opened his mouth to say something, but MH-Razen ploughed on. “Someone’s using Testuser to spam the Projects section. Since you two have some free time, let’s see who can stop him first.”
Apparently he had said the magic words. Simoneon and Alectric vanished without another word.
MH-Razen smiled. All was going well.

Part 2-Clash (Click to View)

“Your reign will end now, Simon. I, Testuser, will take your position as Global Moderator!! MWAHAHAHA!!” the figure opposite Simon and Alectric yelled. “I will rule LFE with a fist of iron!! Users will suffer!! You shall suffer!!”
Simoneon scowled. What an arrogant loser, he thought. The world would be better off without this puppet of Moderators. He was surprised that the Administrators didn’t delete the account, since it really wasn’t needed anymore. After all, Testuser wasn’t a real person, as its name suggested, it was simply for Moderators to test stuff (or mess with its signature). With its weak password, Testuser was often abused by LFE members, which was happening right now, so a Moderator had to temporarily disable it.
Simoneon’s brutal BanHammer materialized in his hand, preparing for the upcoming confrontation.
“I know what you’re going to try and do, Simoneon!! It won’t work!! I am the moderator of administrators!! I am-“
“Oh, shut up” grunted the Global Moderator. He lashed out with his BanHammer-but it made contact with nothing more than air. He blinked. Testuser was still blabbering on in front of him. Confused, he swung again. The mighty spiked weapon passed through without any harm done whatsoever to Testuser.
“Hahaha! I told you it wouldn’t work!! I’m invincible!! You can’t hurt me!! You’re only a Global Moderator!! You have no power over me!!” his opponent ranted.
Alectric frowned. “If you aren’t able to stop him, I doubt I can” he said.
Ignoring Alectric, Simoneon focused his power into his BanHammer. With a roar, he drove it deep into the ground.
A massive tower of orange light erupted from the end of his weapon. It was so destructive that Alectric was thrown off his feet by the blast.
However, when the dust finally cleared, it revealed a very much alive Testuser. Despite the impressive display of a Global Moderator’s power, Testuser remained unscathed.
“Holy Duck. That didn’t even touch it?” Alectric said.
“Haha!! Have you forgotten that I, too, am a Moderator? You could destroy half of the Stories section with your strength and still not even touch me!” Testuser continued.
Both users knew Testuser was talking rubbish. It didn’t matter if he was a Moderator. His Global Moderator powers should overrule normal Moderator powers. Fuming, Simoneon was about to release an even bigger explosion when Testuser suddenly when taut. Then he opened his mouth, but what came through was not the irritating chatter of Testuser, but the smooth, calm voice of MH-Razen.
“Wow, Simon. There really isn’t any need to annihilate half the Stories section.”
Both Simoneon and Alectric stared in disbelief.
“You’re the one controlling this thing?”
“Well, yes. I thought it might relieve you Moderators out of your boredom. It looks like it has kept you preoccupied, so I guess that succeeded. By the way, there’s a new bot spamming in the Projects section. Better get to it before the other Moderators do!”
The body of Testuser went limp.
So this was all a stupid plot by MH, thought Simoneon. But this was odd. The Administrator had told them to chase a spammer, but it was simply him in disguise. Now he was telling them to chase another rule violator?
“This is rather fishy” Alectric mused, deep in thought as well. “We’d better get to the bottom of this. We should check on the other Moderators.”

Part 3-Conspiracy (Click to View)

This was becoming increasingly suspicious. All of the other Moderators had been paired up with each other, just like they had been, and told to chase after bots and users who had turned out to be MH-Razen claiming to relieve them of their boredom. Now all the Moderators had gathered together to discuss this odd phenomenon. Or, rather, they were gearing up for a fight.
The other Global Moderator, Phil, was sharpening his claws, while SirFrog polished his favorite sword, the golden Asc’An. However, Alectric and Eggpire King Bamboori were arguing nearby about whether the duck or the egg came first and generally not doing anything productive.
“I really don’t like the sound of this” murmured the koala-obsessed Moderator blow_fly98. “I would like to say ‘What in the name of LFE is MH up to’ but then that sounds hopelessly cheesy and predictable. Saying ‘What could be gained from the absence of Moderators would also be lame and-…oh crap. We’ve got to get back to the Moderator HQ!!”
“Why?” asked Simoneon, startled.
“There’s no one in the HQ! There usually would be, but MH’s cleared us all out! There’s no one to watch over the Surger!”
Simoneon hit himself for not seeing it earlier. The Surger was something that would give the user immeasurable power, way beyond the abilities of a Moderator. It was a way of reinstating order should a mass hacking be initiated against the forum. But if it were used for the wrong purposes….he shuddered at the thought.
The other Moderators were thinking along the same lines, and together they teleported to the HQ.
When they had rematerialized, an unwelcome sight greeted them. MH-Razen had beaten them to it, and was already holding the surger.
“Too late. Hahahaha!!” he yelled, activating the device.
“No…”said Simoneon as everyone in the vicinity was engulfed in light.
When it faded, everyone saw MH-Razen laughing dementedly.
“YOU ALL GONNA DIE NOW!! MY POWER WILL BURN FORUM!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!”
“Everyone get out! NOW!” roared Simoneon.
Just before he vanished, he saw the Administrator unleashing a huge red ball of energy towards him.

Part 4-Rampage (Click to View)

This is bad. Real bad” said blow_fly98. Everyone had gotten to safety, but the HQ was not so fortunate. The blast that had narrowly missed Simoneon detonated, demolishing the HQ and bringing up a cloud of dust. Then a glowing figure emerged from the debris.
“TODAY IS JUDGEMENT DAY!! THE DAY I JUDGE LFE OF CRIMES GUILTY AGAINST MANKIND AND DESTROY ALL!!” shrieked MH-Razen. He swept his hand and a large portion of the Data Changing section exploded.
“Holy crap” whispered Phil, as debris rained down around him. Even with all the Moderators together, they wouldn’t survive for long against something with that much power.
Then the crazed Administrator turned to them.
“YOU PESKY MODERATORS WILL BURN IN MODHELL!!” He rushed towards them with amazing speed.
Stories Moderator Reaper used his unique abilities to erect a wall of words in front of him, but MH-Razen passed through it like it was never there, and threw a mighty punch. Reaper gasped with shock and collapsed. Blow_fly98 tried to retaliate, but before he even raised a paw, his opponent casually waved a hand and the Moderator was blown backwards through several buildings and eventually out of sight.
There was a stunned silence. Two of the Moderators had been taken out in a matter of moments with cold efficiency. With Reaper lying on the ground incapacitated, and the gaping series of holes blow_fly98 had created, all of them came to a conclusion-they couldn’t win this fight. The remaining Moderators tried escaping again. However, MH-Razen had been expecting it. He splayed out his palm and a crimson net of energy spewed from his hand. SirFrog slashed at it with his sword, but the blade was entangled in the net, which expanded rapidly. Cursing, he tried to rip the growing web off himself, which was threatening to wrap around his entire body. However, his efforts were futile. The mesh quickly encased him, restraining his movement.
“Run! I can take care of myself!” SirFrog shouted.
As the others vanished, MH-Razen slowly advanced on the helpless SirFrog, savoring each moment.

Part 5-Showdown (Click to View)

Several days later….
LFE was a war zone. Smoke spewed from destroyed buildings and a perpetual haze enveloped the skies. The sections were littered with injured or banned members. For the unlucky, all that remained of them was dust, as MH-Razen had probably decided they were blocking his view and vaporized them. He could have probably crushed the entire forum in a matter of minutes, but he was taking his time and enjoying it. The Moderators had only survived by huddling together and combining their powers to shield themselves from MH-Razen, a fact that not all of them were too happy about. But staying alive was the first and only priority now. Even will all their powers combined, it probably wouldn’t do much more than annoy their enemy.
But they would have to make a stand eventually.
And that was what they were doing now.
The 4 Moderators-Phil, Simoneon, Alectric and Bamboori, faced the rogue Administrator with their weapons drawn.
“AHAHAHA!! You really think you puny Mods can even touch me!! Stop dreaming!”
None of them replied, and instead attacked.
MH-Razen immediately lifted a palm to blast all of them into pieces, starting with Phil. He pointed and a jet of fire spurted from the tip of his finger. Only Phil’s superior cat agility and reflexes saved him from being a fried kitty-cat.
Nearby, Alectric activated the power of his Duckscalibur, and with a cry, hundreds of ducks materialized in front of him and surged towards the enemy.
Simoneon summoned his spiked BanHammer and dashed towards MH-Razen, along with Bamboori, who drew his one hundred percent genuine super-hard egg-shard sword.
Their opponent merely snorted, and calmly put his palm on the ground. A pillar of fire erupted out of him hand, and expanded to completely consume the attackers and incinerate the surroundings.
When the blaze withered away into embers, the Moderators were on the ground, gasping for air and trying to nurse numerous burn wounds.
MH-Razen raised a hand in farewell. “Modhell is waiting for you!” he smirked. He clapped his hands and a wave of flames obilerated everything in its way, with it the Moderators.

Part 6-Prophecy (Click to View)

Well, that was what it looked like anyway. Just before they turned extra-crispy, something or someone had gotten hold of them and carried them to safety.
“I’ll ask you the obvious question-who are you?” inquired Simoneon.
“You need not to know who I am” replied the stranger. “But you need to know this. A long time ago, I had a vision- that two mighty empires would come into control, but as eternal rivals. And that the combined strength of these two kingdoms will unleash a new power unlike any other seen before. Until recently, I had no idea what this vision referred to. But now-“he turned to Alectric and Bamboori, who were groaning about their injuries, “I believe that it refers to you two.”
The two Moderators looked at each other.
“You mean the Eggpire and the Duckpire?” asked Bamboori.
“Precisely. They are the most influential groups in the whole of LFE. I believe that it is this unknown power that can break MH-Razen’s grip over the forum. But before you ask me an obvious question, I will say-I do not know how this power will be unleashed and what it will do.”
And with that, the mysterious user dissolved into the smoky air.
“Strange dude” Alectric said. “Believe a single word of it? I don’t.”
Phil and Simoneon were silent.
“Hang on a minute. You two actually know this guy?” he asked, stunned.
“Not in person. But every forum has its secrets- and this is one of them. That person who just saved us- I think he’s the Propheciser” Phil said quietly.
Simoneon took over. “The Propheciser is a legendary person, rumored to be able to see the future of the forum. Those who have heard about him think he’s a myth, but the people in higher positions of power, such as me and Phil, have always doubted that.”
“So you really think he’s not just making some random rubbish up?” said Bamboori.
The two Global Moderators nodded gravely.
“Well then, I’ll take your word that he’s not as crazy as MH. So, in that case, we need a battle plan.”

Part 7- Preparation (Click to View)

“So here’s our strategy-I’ll attack first and be a distraction. Then Simoneon strikes from behind. MH, with his current arrogance, will think it’s a petty distract and attack strategy, and he’ll expect the same from Bamboori and Alectric. You two, try to figure out that ultimate Eggpire/Duckpire fusion thing by attacking simultaneously with all you’ve got” said Phil.
“Remember, we have the advantage. He doesn’t know we’re still alive, so we have the element of surprise, and he also doesn’t know about our trump card” Simoneon continued. He paused, and looked at all of them, aware that this might be the last time he would see them if their mission failed.
“Any questions?”
There was silence.
Simoneon grinned.
“Then let’s kick some Admin butt.”

Part 8- Face-Off (Click to View)

Phil maneuvered around a building so he had a clear view of MH-Razen. He smiled like a cat about to pounce on its prey…oh wait. He WAS a cat about to pounce on its prey. Except the prey was completely off his rocker, unbelievably powerful, and hell-bent on annihilating LFE. How fun.
He leapt towards MH-Razen with a yell (or a purr), claws fully extended.
His enemy wheeled around. “Impossible!! I gave you a one-way trip to Modhell!” he shrieked.
“Well, then, today isn’t your lucky day, is it?” replied Phil, and took a swipe at the Administrator.
“THEN THIS TIME I’LL GUARANTEE YOU A TICKET TO MODHELL!!” he screeched, and prepared to give him the ‘Admin treatment’, or to oversimplify it, burning someone BAD.
“Over my dead body” said Simoneon, appearing behind MH-Razen and swinging his BanHammer.
“Ha! You think a petty trick like this will work?! Think again!” said MH-Razen as he effortlessly blocked the Global Moderator’s strike with a single finger.
“Yeah, I think with your vast ego, it would work” remarked Bamboori as he materialized along with Alectric in front of MH-Razen, much to the latter’s shock.
The two Moderators drew their weapons, Duckscalibur and the one hundred percent genuine super-hard egg-shard sword.
Alectric smiled. “Here we go.”
They stabbed MH-Razen simultaneously with all their strength.
Their opponent didn’t even flinch.
“Nice try, but have you forgotten I’m invincible?! I AM MH-RAZEN!!” he bellowed, and tore both swords from his body. The weapons clattered to the ground nearby.
“It didn’t work” said Bamboori glumly. As he said this, the Moderators lost composure completely, believing they were doomed.
Alectric too was ready to accept defeat, until he noticed Duckscalibur’s and the one hundred percent genuine super-hard egg-shard sword’s blades were crossed. And suddenly it came to him.
He moved to pick up the two weapons. Crossing them, he imagined he was summoning all the ducks and eggs in the world.
There was a soft explosion of yellow light.
“What trickery is this?!” said MH-Razen before the light engulfed him.

Part 9- The New Power (Click to View)

“It’s the end of you, MH” said Alectric. He was carrying what looked like a souped-up rocket launcher. It was brightly colored, due to many different egg shards that surrounded it. The tip was in the shape of a duck’s head, and the occasional feather stuck out from the weapon.
“This is the combined power of the Eggpire and the Duckpire!” Alectric heaved it on his shoulder and pointed it at the rogue Administrator. “Bamboori! I need your help!”
Bamboori hurried over, stood behind Alectric and placed both of his hands at the end of the launcher.
The moment he made contact with the weapon, it started glowing. As its radiance intensified, it started to whir menacingly.
“Impossible! That weapon doesn’t exist!” gasped MH-Razen.
“You can tell that to it after it’s blown you to pieces” replied Alectric. He and Bamboori poured all their remaining Moderator power into it.
“Prepare to die at the hands of the DuckEggBazooka!” he yelled, and pulled the trigger.

Part 10- The Final (Click to View)

The duck head at the tip of the weapon opened its mouth. Then an abnormally large, rainbow egg made its way out of the mouth and streaked with terrifying speed to MH-Razen.
He tried to repel the egg with an enormous jet of fire, but the egg quenched it.
“You’re toast” said Alectric, just as the egg found its mark.
It violently exploded, shooting egg shards, feathers, and rainbows all around.
Alectric and Bamboori smiled tiredly before collapsing from the strain of using so much power.
“We did it…” were Bamboori’s last words before he slipped unconscious.
Then a voice came out of the smoke the blast had caused.
“I’LL…I’LL HAVE MY REVENGE!!”
Phil and Simoneon looked stunned. Not because MH-Razen had seemingly survived, it was because the voice didn’t belong to him at all.
The fog parted to reveal MH-Razen’s battered body lying limp on the ground, as well as another figure.
Phil frowned. “Who the heck are you?”
“I AM THE GREAT LIKASER! I AM CREATOR OF THE BOTS THAT INVADE LFE!! BUT YOU IDIOT MODS DESTROYED THEM!! SO I HAD MY REVENGE BY HACKING MH-RAZEN’S ACCOUNT!”
The two Global Moderators were shocked. So it wasn’t MH-Razen all along? It was merely an imposter?
“YOU MODS KILLED MY BELOVED DAUGHTER, KARENEDWARDS! AND YOU HAD NO PITY ON MY GRANDCHILDREN! CYNTHIA09 SUFFERED TERRIBLY!! AND JAMAICA2035! AND VIPSEM2046! AND DOVA1908! AND….” he raged on.
Phil and Simoneon were speechless.
“AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE NOW!!” he leapt towards the weakened and helpless Moderators.
“Not so fast, bugger” said SirFrog, emerging out of thin air and whacking Likaser with the flat part of his sword.
“SirFrog! We thought you were finished for good!” cried Phil.
“Ha! It’ll take more than an ugly net to trap me!”
Reaper and blow_fly98 also appeared next to SirFrog.
“You’re all fine?! It’s phenomenal!” Simoneon exclaimed.
Their conversation was interrupted by an injured Likaser attempting to finish off the Moderators.
Reaper muttered a quick spell and Likaser froze. He might have been carved from wood.
“We only managed to escape because blow_fly managed to recover quickly and distract MH” said Reaper.
“So, that’s that sorted. And now-“SirFrog turned to the immobile Likaser. “We deal with this loser.”
The user said nothing. Kind of hard to say anything when you’re frozen by one of Reaper’s spells.
“Er, Reaper” prompted SirFrog. “You’re delaying my super-badass speech of ultimate justice.” At a gesture from Reaper, Likaser unfroze. He fell to the ground and whimpered.
SirFrog sneered and raised his sword.
“NOO!! HAVE MERCY-“The golden Asc’An blurred and silenced Likaser once and for all.
“Well, er, nice speech, SirFrog” said Simoneon.
“What did you expect me to say? ‘And so we burned the real bad guy and we lived happily ever after?’ No way.”
“I think the ‘speech’ bit of your ‘speech’ is missing.”
“Actions speak more than words.”
“Whatever. But now we’ve got to fix, like, half the forum, and make a new Moderator HQ.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter. I never liked the old one. No karaoke section.”
“I’m sure that’s mind-boggling.”
“Ahem” cut in blow_fly98. “Before you argue about the epicness of karaoke, we’ve still got two unconscious Moderators, a half-dead Administrator, and a wrecked forum.”
“Alright, then” said Simoneon.
They carried the limp bodies of Alectric, Bamboori and MH-Razen towards what was left of the Moderator HQ.


END